STUDY::love/hate relationship

Love/Hate Relationship

Dear Old White Man in a Pimp Suit Walking Down University Ave Sticking Your Nose in Everybody’s Business(Chip): Thanks to your telling me that my bike parking on the fence of the business I planned to patronize was illegal, they closed and locked their doors while I locked up across the street. Your patrolling of the sidewalks is unnecessary, unwanted and condescending. You must have a chip the size of your prostate on your shoulder. If I see you again, I’m stealing your pimp cane and throwing it under a bus. I consider it a weapon how you wave it around telling other people what to do under the guise of elderly advice. Your life must be a sad summation of failure, racism, gaping feelings of inadequacy, and moral bigotry; I want to feel bad for you but I don’t, you antipathetic choad.

Dear Cute Aspiring Photojournalist(Mary): I want to thank you in writing for breathing new life into my old and dusty camera. I loved it intensely for five years and it took me places I couldn’t begin to imagine, but my travels wore on it as well as me, and by the time I was through I had lost its preciousness in the 45 thousand images I directed it to capture. You arrived with your boyfriend in matching leather jackets looking less like students and more like stylish beneficiaries of youth’s gall and pomp. Your warm handshakes and bright eyes recalled in my memory the joys of learning and drinking the world in with gluttonous curiosity. I could see in your eyes the fascination and creative genius brooding in your vivacious spirit; the call of an artist reverberating off and against the tools of the trade. I can tell you will treat my aging picture box with respect and driven guidance and I hope it imbues your artistry with the best of challenges and the most vivid of rewards. I was somewhat shocked and awash in glee at your admission of trading in your newer, more technically advanced camera for the things that made me love my old camera. It is yours now. I hope it lasts you as long and well as it did me. Also, extollingly, thank you for paying the fair asking price off craigslist, for FUCKS sake!

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