LOREO LENS IN A CAP: lofiallstar

It’s smaller than the overhang for the penta prism.

No focus. 5.6, 8, 16, 32, 64. Plastic optics.


Sure, after a while it gets to the point where you may REALLY want to focus out, or if there’s not much light you may find yourself jacking the ISO up really high… and it only works on cameras that accept non-ai glass(non chipped completely manual lenses, or in this case, completely fixed nonmoving nonchipped lenses)

But for something that doesn’t take up any weight and costs 25 dollars, it turns your camera body into a camera system.

And that’s cool enough to shout about.


Kilo Serpent :: King and Cinelli

What up now…

Fun filled day (Going threaded AGAIN)

Nothing compares to the silky, sexy bliss that is a new king headset.

Unless you’re comparing it in amplitude to sheer terror… in which case I can make a fairly accurate comparision having the balls scared out of me twice on Saturday.

Kerry Park, Saturday March 19th, 2011.

A beautiful sunny weekend in Seattle- the first in a long, and what seems like a longer, time.

What this scene doesn’t show is how you get there.

First, leave your house after a leisurely morning in bed with your threadless fork quill stem and bars in your Rambler MSW bag.  The wind whips through your helmet matted hair for seconds but before you’re down the hill, disaster strikes at the funny bone of your bicycle fetishist boner… your dura ace lockring threads decide to give out and catastrophically launch your chain, cog and lockring spinning off your wheel, locking the wheel momentarily before resting jangling on the slowly turning axle as you pull off to a sidestreet.


There’s no traffic and your brakeless track bike hasn’t killed you.  Maybe it’s because you’re comfortable on a locked rear wheel even without much notice and enough speed to seriously injure any part of your body, should physics decide to make you eat shit.  Which it can easily decide to do.  Your friends will tell you to get a brake, but that will only help avoid danger, not catastrophic component failure.

Thankfully, you’re intact and haven’t ingested anything since breakfast(physics be damned), so when you get back home and switch the cog and lockring to the other side you realize you have a wheel that is flip/done flopped.  It says dura ace on it still, but the magic is now tainted because that shit is broke as a nonunion industry worker that sexed up his boss’s wife.

But just on one side.

Half-heartbroken and back on the road, you get the fork and king headset installed by a fantastically helpful mechanic, tip him a fiver, and it’s a beautiful day again.  You love your bike anew.  Celebrate and ride to the top of Queen Anne(The Hard Way) and take in the beautiful scenery.  Pause at Kerry Park.  Take a great jaunt down macgraw to the back side of the hill and start to bomb 3rd to SPU and the Fremont bridge.

But wait, you’ve only got one side of your cog now… and the last time you resisted the pedals down a hill, well… this time better to really bomb it and go as fast as the wind will let you.  Not wanting to strip the threads again you just pedal faster and faster.  No cars, just wind and the sweet triumphant humm of your velocity over pave-FUCK.  Unfortunately, Bitch-ass Disaster strikes again as your chain drops … or maybe first your axle slips… whichever occurs first, it wraps the chain around your bb shell in a whiptight rotafix in a second sudden break of “this-can’t-be-happening-again” cunt strike that makes your wheel lock up while bombing a hill for the second time in the day, but this time faster and on a much larger hill with a much more abrupt and dangerous speed change.  The 28c gatorskin has had enough of this mindlessly terrifying bullshit, and blows through to the tube which explodes in an instant from the heat of your uncontrolled 25mph+ skid that lasts probably about 70 feet or so before the flat stops you flat.

You come to rest in front of a park at another side street which is again devoid of cars.  That flat tire sure stops you quick once it blows.  And now your bb shell is shredded through the beautiful powdercoat.

But at least you’re not dead.  Even after the speed-wobbles, which are a jolt-induced shimmy of the front end as the tire explodes in the rear, you’re still alive. Bitch-ass Disaster hasn’t killed you yet.

It’s a long and shitty walk to Wright Brothers’ bike shop where you see all the people you enjoy most and shoot the shit while you install a new tube, tire, and chain tensioners.  Goddamn that Hanzo axle bolt ratchet is nice.  Shop closes and you’re back on the bike.  Gas works is beautiful and amass with hipsters flying kites.  Back home to upload photos and it’s time to get ready for a night out. Mmm, shower time.

Bitch-ass Disaster: You can take my threads, but you can’t take my zest for life.


Origin 8 Components

So I gave myself a birthday present…

Origin 8 Pro Taper track drops, Ultim-8 GXP Crankset, ColorMorph grips, and a headset.

I’m returning the headset because shit is UGLEE. And my s-2 isn’t dead, so no use upgrading to a downgrade, ya dig?

Everything else —  I love. The drops are basically mirrored aluminum copies of deda pistas, and they are just as stiff and light. Huge bargain.

The photochromorphic grips are amazing. Take them out into daylight and they BLOOM with lily-purple pigment.  At nighttime they’re just a clearish white that looks a little iridescent.  Very cool. I mean, “purple” runs with its tail between its legs when these things roll by. They’re more colorful than Tim Gunn in UV daylight, and at night about as colorful as his wardrobe.

And the cranks, while admittedly  being simply the ugliest component I’ve ever seen on a bike… seriously… are 80 dollars, included a bottom bracket, nicely finished and stiff. Oh, the included 144bcd 46t ring isn’t half bad either. No, they’re not better than omniums, but they’re better than any other 80 dollar crank for sure.  They’re manufactured by Lasco and are model FG01. They give me a great chainline with no spacers.  And I’m pretty sure they’re stiffer and more responsive than my truvative elita compacts.  I know they’re ugly as fuck, but they’re also half the price of omniums, and omniums aren’t going to win any beauty pageants either.

The omniums look like a wet dog. Maybe it was a greyhound at one point, but it’s so wet and noodly that the only thing pretty about it is certain parts of its shape.  Compare the omnium to a grand mighty or  campy set and you should see what I mean. They’re chunky, weird, and blocktastic.

These Ultim8s are even weirder. It’s like you took the chunkwet profile of an omnium and industrial designed it with cues from some off the shelf 70’s peugot. They look to be emulating lugs, but on the worst parts. and the spider has cutouts, like my 2003 subaru wheels. I don’t know who designed these cranks but they weren’t smoking any drugs. People who smoke drugs think up crazy shit, but NEVER is it this artistically awful or badlooking.  This was designed by someone who has had a deep psychological break with reality.

But… they are ugly. And they are stiff. And they are cranks. And they are cheap. And I like them despite their horrendous looks.

Diggin it.

So yeah, also ordered purple IRO hubs for my cxp-22’s, so I’ll see about making that wheelset an art piece, I’ll fix the headset with something worthy of looking at, get a stem that fits me and is silver and beautiful, think about a seatpost collar that isn’t black, and we’ll have a bike.

Until then I’m riding this around like it’s going out of style.


Because it is.